When Was The Last Time You Fingered Someone? 

When was the last time you fingered someone?

Quit laughing, I am serious. I am not talking about sliding a few fingers in here and there to gauge her wetness or you adding in a little finger play while going down on her. I am talking about fingering and nothing more.

Stumped? My guess is (depending on your age) it has been some time and probably goes back to your teenage sexual exploration years during some hot and heavy make-out session.   It seems that fingering drops off the menu once you “advance” to other acts and it is a damn shame. Maybe the issue is the name of the act.  Unlike oral sex which has a degree of foreign allure with terms like cunnilingus or fellatio, which elevates blowjobs and eating her out it to a sexy degree of sophistication, fingering has no other terms and just sounds juvenile or worse invasive like a pap smear.  It holds no taboo and it is one of the few sex acts she can do all by herself, so men tend to forget all about it.

Well time to quite overlooking this underappreciated act. Fingering her can feel quite refreshing and often unexpected. Most women haven’t been THOROUGHLY fingered in a very long time.   Fingers can give much more focused, deliberate, and intense stimulation than any other body part. You can also use one hand inside of her and the other on her clitoris. The combination of internal and external sensations does wonders.

Sounds easy, huh?  Well, now I am going to tell you how to make this even better.

This isn’t just a foreplay move with the hopes of advancing to other stuff. I’m talking about fingering as an act all in itself. Don’t worry, you’ll get rewarded later.  Trust me.

Let’s start with some basics. Make sure your nails are trimmed and filed.  Avoid spicy foods on your fingers and obviously, wash with soap and water. Do not use hand sanitizer!!

Ok, now this will all seem basic but it is key so spend time kissing her, slowly removing her clothes, and running your hands all over her body. Don’t rush it, build up that anticipation. Get yourself comfortable so you can use both hands.  I like to get myself sitting up next to her as she is lying down on the bed.  I love to trace my hands around her lips and pump my fingers in and out, slow and gentle, and build up the intensity while using my other hand to brush and tease her clit.

Unlike oral sex, fingering allows you to look into her eyes as you are in charge of her pleasure. You can watch her respond to your every touch and when she makes eye contact as she feels that you love giving her pleasure and making it all about her…that look never gets old and an amazing turn on.

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What’s Wrong With Being Really Sexually Promiscuous?

slut-shaming-750x400If you are at all open about your sexual life, you ultimately will find yourself judged (especially women). It isn’t a surprise when it happens from your extreme vanilla friends or that church-going neighbor, but it really baffles us when it comes from folks who don’t fall into the mainstream of society when it comes to sexual behavior.

This is why we wanted to share this Alternet article written by Dr. Zhana, What’s Wrong With Being Really Sexually Promiscuous?

There is no doubt that, among the general population, promiscuity is almost universally considered a bad thing. It seems like every day there is a new example of slut-shaming, often with tragic outcomes; the sex addiction industry routinely labels all promiscuous people as having a problem; and studies show that over 70% of college students would lose respect for someone who “hooks up or has sex with lots of people.”

But anti-promiscuity stigma also often comes from those who themselves embrace alternative sexual lifestyles, often as a way to justify their own—less promiscuous—alternative lifestyle and, consciously or unconsciously, make it more palatable to the general public. Because anything, anything, is better than promiscuity.

Have you encountered this stigma in your own life? Can you remember times when you yourself may have contributed to this stigma by shaming someone else? We would love to hear from you!